Book Lust, I mean List

My lovely sister-in-law passed along to me four books she thought I’d enjoy. She and I share a love of memiors so I was not surprised to find that all the books she lent me were memiors. As I placed them on the, (already pretty full) ”books I want to read” bookshelf I started thinking about other memiors I’ve read and loved. Here, in no particular order, are ten of my favorites:

Truth and Beauty: A Friendship, Ann Patchett

Autobiography of a Face, Lucy Grealy

Drinking: A Love Story, Carolyn Knapp

When all the World was Young, Barbara Holland

The Color of Water, James McBride

Under the Tuscan Sun, Frances Mayes (it’s nothing like the movie)

Don’t Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight, Alexandra Fuller

The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls

Bird by Bird - Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anne Lamott

All Over but the Shoutin’, Rick Bragg

Post Graduation Post

Graduation is over, my parents have returned to the midwest, (where they have REAL summer weather, I’ll have you know!) and the exhaustion I felt post graduation festivties is slowly lifting. As with many things in life, anticipation is often worse than the actual event…so true for me with this milestone event. The days heading into commencement week found me weepy at the most inopportune times; I even welled up with tears when I heard the first few bars of Pomp and Circumstance, but since then, nuthin’. In fact, coming home from work this week, tripping over shoes in the front hall, seeing dishes piled high next to an empty dishwasher and having to run dripping wet from one bathroom to the other to get MY shampoo only served to remind me that they are still kids in so many ways. Wearing a gown and mortarboard does not an adult make. We’re simply starting a new chapter in which I’m sure I’ll have a lot more parenting to do. But it was fun, this high school thing…even with all my kvetching I’ve pretty much loved every minute of it.

A Walk Around the Lake

This morning I took my first early morning walk of the season around Lake Serene. In the summer I take this 3 mile walk quite often, and so early that I rarely see another person and the only sounds I hear are birds chirping, the occasional bark of a dog and the slap of my sneakers against the sidewalk. And I love it. The air is sweet, the lake is smooth and the silence allows my mind to roam. I didn’t get out early enough this morning. There was a guy weed-whipping the ditch in front of his house, school busses were rolling by, and the din of commuter traffic was unmistakable. In addition, the slap of my sneakers on the sidewalk was completely drowned out by the waggle of my thighs and the flapping of my upper arms against my back fat. My mind was consumed with how I can fit a more rigorous workout schedule into my already busy days. Still, the way the sun came through the trees, the clear blue sky, the cool balmy air, all served to remind me that summer, my favorite season, is just around the corner.

Checking things off a list...

Here’s a list of what I’ve been doing since I returned from Ireland. April sped by so fast.
1. Rearranged book shelves…this is an ongoing project.
2. Cleaned my closet.
3. Downloaded, resized, uploaded pictures from Ireland onto new smugmug page. This took several days, but I think I’ve finally got the process down.
4. Spent time in my studio and finally finished a piece that I am somewhat satisfied with.
5. Finished daughter A’s costume for high school musical…a victorian gown made from acres of fabric, the experince of which has added new skills to my sewing repertoire including the use of boneing and crinoline.
6. Finished two hats for daughter A’s costume for high school musical.
7. Short trips to Eugene, Ellensburg and Whidbey Island.
8. One trip to the skin doctor, (use sunscreen!!) one trip to the physical therapist, three trips to the chiropractor, (I am falling apart.)
9. Patienly endured the college decision process of twin daughters.
10. Wrote checks to said colleges.
In the weeks ahead I will view the spring musical, (and that fabulous hat) numerous times, go prom shopping with daughters and spend buckets of money, prepare physically and emotionally for their high school graduation, and host out of town visitors. Still, every spare moment I will steal away to my studio to get something done. Gaa! I must go there now.

Welcome Home Goodbye

Remember the party game when the host brings out a tray filled with objects then takes the tray away, removes a few items and you have to guess what’s missing? That’s what it’s like living in my house this week. Last week, while I was in Ireland with my daughter’s high school choir, my husband packed up his belongings and moved out. His moving out did not come as a surprise, it’s something he’s been planning to do since January, perhaps earlier, but I’m finding the half empty bookshelves and cupboards a bit disorienting. I look on a shelf or in a cupboard, and know something is different, something is missing, but I don’t know what. One way to look at this is, if I can’t name the missing items, they mustn’t have been that important in the first place. On the other hand, these bookshelves and cupboards are the backdrop of my life and even if I can’t name each particular item, each thing has been burned into my memory. Needless to say, the gaping holes will take some getting used to. So, I’ve started moving things around to fill in the spaces; to change the backdrop. At the same time, I’ve been throwing things away…going through piles of papers and ”things” that have accumulated over the years…using a variation of the “if you haven’t worn it in a year, throw it out” rule. I wasn’t expecting him to leave so abruptly after our return from Ireland, but maybe it’s for the best. Maybe it’s better to make this household adjustment while dealing with the unpleasant tasks of returning from a wonderful foriegn excursion…unpacking suitcases, jetlag and laundry. Sort of like a rough landing. And maybe after my rough landing I’ll emerge with a smile on my face, thankful and happy to be where I am.

The First One Leaves the Nest

I dropped my first born off at the University of Oregon last Sunday. Quack! Quack! My son is a duck. I looked high and low in the bookstore for a “Mama Duck” bumpersticker but the closest I could find was “Oregon Mom”. That just doesn’t have the same ring to it, but I bought it anyway.
This milestone event proved to be more difficult for me than anticipated. We moved him into his dorm room and hung out with him on campus up until just before he had to attend his new-student orientation session. After we said our goodbyes, as we were walking away, I began to well up. And I cried for about fifty miles on the drive home. What’s most interesting to me is just a few hours before I had a scowl on my face and was thinking, “my god, I can’t wait until this kid is in college and not hanging around insulting me!” We had had one of our mother/son tifts and I was actually anxious for him to be off on his own, (Humpf! He’ll have a whole new appreciation for me after he’s been on his own awhile!) But as we were driving away all I could think of was him as a little boy. His life passed before my eyes, (it’s true, they really do grow up fast) and I kept wondering if I was a good enough mom. Did I do a good enough job? Did I damage him too much? And why is it the parenting moments you’d rather forget are the ones that loom largest and most vivid in memory? All week I’ve felt a bit bruised.
In all honesty, I am proud of him and excited for him. College, for me, was a wonderful experience and that’s my wish for him as well. I hope he has fun, makes friends, learns a lot. I’ve been anticipating this event for quite some time now, sometimes with glee, sometimes with dread. In my heart I know it’s time, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Christmas 2006

My sister says Christmas is just another day. My cousin says Christmas was invented to oppress women. During the holiday season I find myself in each of their camps. The latter when I am busily trying to get everything done, the former when I realize the world isn’t going to end if I don’t get everything done. But I did manage to get a lot on the to-do list done this year, and found a whole new respect for ‘working moms’ in the process. I trimmed a big, beautiful tree, (my favorite aspect of Christmas), I made cookies, I bought presents, I even helped in making a happy Christmas for my sister’s kids by finding a Wii in the return cart at my local Costco and keeping my hand on it until the store manager gave the all-clear that I could indeed buy it. I planned and prepared meals, I delivered cookies to my aged neighbors, (although I did have to leave them on the doorstep because I don’t think they heard me knocking). I attended friendly get-togethers, I made a Christmas print, scanned it, made 100 cards and got them mailed before Christmas. (So what if the design was an interpretation of a 12th century painting of the Annuciation and who cares if I had to drive to the post office on December 23rd to make sure they got in the last pickup of the day? I got it done!) And I worked my three-day-a-week job at the church where, let’s face it, Christmas is a pretty big deal, a very busy time. Yes, I spent most of December frazzled and feeling oppressed, and now, here on December 29 with all the hubbub behind me, I realize that Christmas is just a day, a special day to be sure, but a day just the same. We spent the day they way most families do I suppose…opening presents, interacting in some fashion with said presents, listening to Christmas music, eating too much, napping, hanging out together, watching movies, making and recieving long distant phone calls from family far away. What makes Christmas more than just a day for me, besides that it’s a monumental marker of time, is that it’s one day that my kids don’t mind just hanging out with the family doing said things on the list above, in fact they expect it. It’s a tradition…like the tree, the presents, the cookies, the music. It makes them happy. Which is why I do what I do each December.